Men's Groups - report in from DOWN UNDER (Australia)

MEN IN GROUPS

Cliches abound with men’s groups. But what really happens? Imagine a room with up to nine men sitting in a circle. Evenings usually begin with a ‘clearing’; each gives a five minute rundown on his last week. The others listen and identify with themes relevant to them.

Confidentiality is paramount. ‘I’ statements are encouraged. Talk is often with shades of truth. ‘I’m tired and irritable,’ said Jack. ‘I almost didn’t come this week. It’s been an emotional roller coaster. I worked fifty hours plus......again. I’m at everyone’s beck and call; work during the day and my family at night, as if I’m here to serve others and my needs going unmet.’

Anxiety prevented Ken talking personally. ‘No-one stands up to my boss. He sets each meeting’s agenda. Some days he’s easier to get on with.’ The facilitator intervened: ‘Ken, what are you feeling right now?’ A long silence. ‘I feel bad,’ said Ken. When pressed, he said, ‘I feel sad’. But it lacks emotional depth, a stonelike quality dominates his face.

After each has a turn, it’s time for ‘identification’; relating experiences similar to those heard. Jack’s story struck a chord with Tony. ‘Jack, when talking about your boss and needing time for yourself, I sensed your anger and felt sad. Boundaries are a problem for me too. Getting priorities straight, making sacrifices for family, work and me, is hard. See, ‘I’ come last again. But seriously, with gym twice a week I’ve become more attentive to others.’

It was Malcolm’s first evening. A revelation. ‘I didn’t know others had these issues,’ he said. There were nods of agreement all round.

After the break, male stereotypes, the discussion topic was shelved. Kim was in crisis, a relationship break up. ‘It’s been three years since we met. She’s moving out Saturday,’ he said. ‘I feel lost.’

Stories and how they coped had Kim’s full attention. ‘I waited six months for her to come back,’ Peter said. ‘For a while I felt sorry for myself, then got out there again,’ said Ken. When the evening closed, a couple of men spoke quietly with him before going home.

With greater openness, men feel supported and nurtured rather than ashamed, inadequate or embarassed because they ‘said too much’. The camaraderie and excitement is self perpetuating. One night, no discussion took place. They danced instead! Other times they sat with a candle at centre circle for half an hour or so, discovering how profound silence can be.

Anyone can ‘pass.’ Robert wouldn’t role play a conversation with his father. It was ‘too close to the bone’. The rest accepted this, some resentfully. Later, in the sharing, Paul said, ‘It get’s to me. We participate, why don’t you? I get angry.’ Robert replied, ‘I felt alone and exposed. Now I feel rejected as well. The fact is I am not ready yet.’

David’s perspective differed. ‘This stuff can get scary,’ he said. Again, there were nods of agreement. Peter said, ‘I’ve felt lonely for it but realised how afraid I can be to reveal myself.’

Robert’s anxiety became apparent. ‘But, I still don’t understand why it’s “Men Only!”’ he blurted out. Peter came in with, ‘Men tend to look to women for support and self disclosure. ‘Most would be trying to make out with them. I’ve come to appreciate non sexualized, inti­mate relationships with men. This flows on to women.’

With time and trust, more is revealed. For several weeks, Ken had felt belittled by Doug. When confronted, Doug replied with anger, ‘it’s you, constantly taking over!’ The truth came out, albeit slowly. ‘I am threatened and jealous of Ken’s success,’ he said. ‘And now I’m embarassed and hurt.’

Ashley found it important. ‘Conflict can be resolved.’ he said. ‘Despite your anger Doug, we didn’t die from it. I would have walked away before. You must be close to be so honest with one another.’

In the closing circle, all stood with arms around each other’s shoulders. Doug thought, ‘I’ve calmed down.........I didn’t disintegrate telling the truth. I know what’s mine to deal with.’

Next week, Doug apologised, and explained his behaviour. But it didn’t finish there. Robert hadn’t shown up, phoning in ill. Others noticed him looking down during the argument. Was it too much for him? Sadness enveloped the room. ‘I miss him, I’ll talk to him tomorrow,’ said Peter.

And Ken, who had worn the halo of virtuous victimhood, alluded (in private) to competitive males trying to control situations........ So, was Doug’s anger justified? ‘Yes,’ he agreed grudgingly, ‘I didn’t like his manner though.’ Should he come clean with the group as well? ‘I’ll think about it,’ he said.

It’s a journey. Most meetings are revitalising. ‘I feel connected to the human race again,’ said Jack. ‘Vulnerability is a great leveller. We may lead different lives but have similar issues.’

The tradition of the unemotional Aussie male is losing its hold. Friendship between men creates gentle, more certain men. While not a sensational way to promote change, the honesty a men’s group can foster would make relationships more fulfilling.

Men

Why come to the Men's Group ?

Why come to the Men's Group?

A man is walking along and suddenly a hole opens up and before he knows what has happened he falls in. He looks around the hole and realized that he is alone and it is impossible to get out. He waits and soon a doctor comes along, he calls to the doctor for help. The doctor looks down in the hole, takes out his prescription pad and writes him a prescription and drops it into the hole. The next person to walk along is a priest. He calls to the priest and the priest looks down into the hole. The priest writes him a prayer and drops it in the hole. By now the man in the hole is getting very discouraged and feeling very helpless. Then he sees his friend walk by and yells, "Tony help me, I'm stuck down in this hole." Tony stops and looks down at his friend in the hole and without hesitation jumps in. The man said, "Tony why did you do that? now we are both stuck in this hole." Tony replies, "I know, but I've been down here before and I know the way out!"

Why Join A Mens Group?

Why join a men's group?

80% of those who have serious drug addictions are men.

80% of the homeless on American streets are men.

Men are 43 times more likely than women to be admitted to psychiatric hospitals and 25 times as likely to end up in prison.

80% of suicide deaths are men.

Life expectancy for men is 7 years less than for women. Men have higher death rates in the 15 leading causes of death.

Why are men so much more at risk than women?

While women already have an average of six close friends for social support, men average only one, who is usually his partner. Without social support both genders are at three to five times greater risk of premature death and disease from all causes.

How can the East Bay Men's Network (or another men's organization) help?

First, we provide a safe space. Members need to trust each other to disclose vulnerable feelings rather than report superficial activities. With the case of EBMN or an umbrella men's council, volunteer screeners ensure only appropriate members are placed in groups. If a man is in crises, domineering, demanding or needy we will refer him to professional psychotherapy.

What does it mean to share what's really going on? This is the expression of our basic feelings, happy, sad, angry and fearful. Some studies report that boys start out being more emotionally expressive than girls even at 6 months old. By age six, boys start shutting down due to conditioning by parents and society. We are discouraged to express vulnerable feelings. Emotionally gifted boys grow up into being emotionally stunted men. A men's group can encourage its members to re-learn the language of feelings, a vocabulary long since forgotten.

Second, members agree to maintain confidentiality. What comes up in the group stays there as sacred trust.

Third, we ask each member to make attendance a high priority. If a man shares a significant part of himself, those who don't show miss out.

Fourth, we make friends with each other by disclosing that which is valuable and precious. We reach out to each other between meetings by sharing a walk, a meal or a personal project. The, 2-3 hours we spend in group is more than most of us spend with other friends. For many our men's group forms the core of our personal friendship network.

Finally, we value and give credence to the human "being" rather than the human "doing". The worth of a man is more than his productivity and accomplishments. You will not see an annual job-performance evaluation here.

Thus, support groups give men the opportunity to safely share feelings, overcome isolation, build friendships and be "at home" with others. Take heed, having a good support system is critical to your well-being. It is just good medicine.

Mainely Men Weekend coming up . . .

Mainely Men is a twice-yearly weekend conference in which men gather in a quiet, rustic lakeside settling in central Maine. Our next meeting is October 5th-8^th, 2007. Go to www.mainelymen.org for more information or to register.

Located in West Gardiner, Maine, ten miles southwest of Augusta, the lodge is located on the east shore of Lake Cobbosseecontee.

Men sleep in simple cabins with beds with a separate shower house and in a large central lodge.

During the weekend each man may develop new friendships, participate in a program or workshops related to men's issues, become involved in a talent show, relax, enjoy the woods and learn more about himself.


Mainely Men provides a comfortable environment in which men may examine traditional male roles, explore what it means to assume alternative roles. Workshops may focus on such issues as:

• Improving relationships with fathers, sons, women, children, co-workers or partners
• Developing intimacy and friendships with other men
• Nurturing self and others in massage workshops crafts or dance
• Enjoying spontaneous games or chats
• Recognizing and reducing homophobia through gay-straight discussion
• Coping with life challenges such as divorce, aging, loss
• Learning how to be a better father to sons and daughters
• Discovering mythic connections through rituals

Many workshops are just plain fun-designing, building, writing and painting. Even hiking the trails, going canoeing or playing volleyball. We have campfires and sweat lodges some sessions. We have many traditions such as opening circle and closing circle that are the common threads that bring all men together.
We provide an orientation to all new participants who are the lifeblood of the weekends. Mainely Men has sustained itself for two decades because it renews itself with transfusions of new members and keeps its continuity through the many men who return year after year.

Sheddies . . . .

Sheddies

For years blokes worldwide seeking to escape nagging wifes and life's tribulations have hidden away in the solitary, cobwebbed gloom of their garden sheds. But over in Australia hobby handymen are flocking to take up tools at communal sheds across the country. What a great idea, and one that we should be adopting over here. Instead of pottering alone, men gather in groups, drilling and hammering while setting the world to rights over frequent mugs of tea. More than 200 such community sheds have sprung up over the past decade, and many more are planned. The 10,000-strong "men's shed movement" is one of the fastest-growing interest groups in the country, and officials are sitting up and taking notice. Not only do the sheds provide a practical community support network, they also give their users a potential health boost. The Sheddies, as they are known, are mainly older handymen, most of them retired and some widowed. For the men, tackling a spot of woodwork at a communal shed seems to lift their spirits and provides them with a new group of "mates." Saws, screwdrivers and drills hang along the walls, alongside try squares, trays of nails and an array of power tools. Its regular users make toys for hospitals, games for retirement homes and repair furniture for community groups. "The woodwork and other hobby's are the excuse, not the reason, why men come here," said one of the organisers "They come for companionship, even though they may not admit it. I have seen amazing changes in these blokes"Talking becomes easier." At the frequent brew times tools are downed and the men perch on stools to drink tea and talk. Half an hour later they are hard at work again, the sound of sawing punctuated by laughter. Barry Golding, a professor of education at Ballarat University in Victoria, who has completed the first comprehensive study of men's sheds, described it as the most exciting research he had undertaken. "It's a myth that men don't talk - they do if they are given the right opportunity," he said. "Sheds give men licence to celebrate being men and to be sensitive and supportive about each other. "If you put up a sign that says Men's Health Centre, men won't come. If you put up a sign that says Men's Learning Centre, men won't come. But if the sign says Men's Shed, then people will come. And that's when the magic begins."

John F Kennedy - famous quotes

John F. Kennedy (1917 - 1963)

Success and Failure

Politics, Government and Power

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible, make violent revolution inevitable.

When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existance. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.

When power leads man towards arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the area of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.

The men who create power make an indispensable contribution to the Nation’s greatness, but the men who question power make a contribution just as indispensable, especially when that questioning is disinterested, for they determine whether we use power or power uses us.

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man. No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings.

The ignorance of one voter in a democracy impairs the security of all.

Leadership

Courage and Fear

Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate.

The Courage that we all prize and seek is not the courage to die decently, but to live manfully.

Truths, Ideas, Ideals to Live by

Conformity is the jailer of freedom, and the enemy of growth.

Mankind must put an end to war, or war will put an end to mankind.

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining.

A man may die, nations may rise and fall, but an idea lives on.

The greatest enemy of the truth is very often not the lie--deliberate, contrived, and dishonest, but the myth persistent, persuasive, and unrealistic. Belief in myths allows the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.

Optimism and Pessimism

Mistakes, oversights, misfortune

Opinion

Too often we... enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.

Comebacks, Humor

The great French Marshall Lyautey once asked his gardener to plant a tree. The gardener objected that the tree was slow growing and would not reach maturity for 100 years. The Marshall replied, 'In that case, there is no time to lose; plant it this afternoon!'

...probably the greatest concentration of talent and genius in this house except for perhaps those times when Thomas Jefferson ate alone.

When I became President, what surprised me most was that things were just as bad as I'd been saying they were.

Do you realize the responsibility I carry? I'm the only person standing between Nixon and the White House.

History

And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country. My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man.

Let the world go forth from this time and place, to friend and foe alike, that the torch has been passed to a new generation of Americans, born in this century, tempered by war, disciplined by a hard and bitter peace, proud of our ancient heritage, and unwilling to witness or permit the slow undoing of those human rights to which this nation has always been committed, and to which we are committed today, at home and around the world!

Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, to assure the survival and success of liberty.

All this will not be finished in the first 100 days. Nor will it be finished in the first 1,000 days, nor in the life of this administration, nor even perhaps in our lifetime on this planet. But let us begin.

I believe this nation should commit itself, to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of landing a man on the moon and returning him safely to the earth.

But peace does not rest in the charters and covenants alone. It lies in the hearts and minds of all people. So let us not rest all our hopes on parchment and on paper, let us strive to build peace, a desire for peace, a willingness to work for peace in the hearts and minds of all of our people. I believe that we can. I believe the problems of human destiny are not beyond the reach of human beings.

We choose to go to the Moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy - but because they are hard! Because that challenge is one we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone and one we intend to win!

We are not afraid to entrust the American people with unpleasant facts, foreign ideas, alien philosophies and competitive values. For a nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people.

For in the final analysis, our most basic common link, is that we all inhabit this small planet, we all breathe the same air, we all cherish our children's futures, and we are all mortal.

Perspective on Life

Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man. And man can be as big as he wants. No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings.

We need men who can dream of things that never were.

We must use time as a tool, not as a crutch.

We stand for freedom. That is our conviction for ourselves; that is our only commitment to others.

Mankind must put an end to war, or war will put an end to mankind.

There are risks and costs to a program of action. But they are far less than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction.

Dreams

Rich, Poor, Generosity

If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich.

The quality of American life must keep pace with the quantity of American goods. This country cannot afford to be materially rich and spiritually poor.

Education, personal development, personal responsibility

Our progress as a nation can be no swifter than our progress in education. The human mind is our fundamental resource.

Let us think of education as the means of developing our greatest abilities, because in each of us there is a private hope and dream which, fulfilled, can be translated into benefit for everyone and greater strength for our nation.

The American, by nature, is optimistic. He is experimental, an inventor and a builder who builds best when called upon to build greatly.

Liberty without learning is always in peril; learning without liberty is always in vain.

The ancient Greek definition of happiness was the full use of your powers along lines of excellence.

Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other.

Meeting of Maine Coast Men - Oct 12-14

Meeting of Maine Coast Men - Oct 12-14, 2007 Lincolnville, ME

The Gathering

A typical weekend is very informal. MCM's is in a remote wooded area on a river with enclosed bunk houses and gathering rooms. It begins with a Friday night potluck and a voluntary "check in." Saturdays offer workshops which are conducted by other members who volunteer. In the past their have been workshops about anger, living single, relationships with fathers and sons, spirituality, co dependency, homophobia, racism, singing, and so on. No one has to attend anything but usually over the weekend those who gather engage with each other and feel support and comradeship.

Saturday night is a "variety" show with stories, music, singing, and improvising. Sunday Brunch is followed by a group picture, a chance to plan for the next Gathering, and a closing circle.
Most guys are amazed at the energy that comes from the weekend and take that with them to their everyday world, renewed and often more interested in building community back home.

To Join InThe registration form The registration form can be downloaded and sent to the registrar, MCM Wellman P O Box 673 Westminster, Mass. 01473-0673. The fee is on a sliding scale and can include scholarships. Interested men can also E-Mail for materials to be mailed to them.

Poem - Oriah Mountain Dreamer

The Invitation

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living

I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream

of meeting your heart's longing

It doesn't interest me how old you are

I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love,

for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon

I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow,

if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled

and closed from fear of further pain

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own

without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it

I want to know of you can be with JOY, mine and your own

if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips

of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful... be realistic...or

to remember the limitations of being a human

It doesn't interest me if the story you're telling me is true

I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself

if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul

I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore trustworthy

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty every day

and if you can source your life from ITS presence

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine and still stand

on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "YES !"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you

have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair,

weary and bruised to the bone...and do what needs to be done for the children

It doesn't interest me who you are...how you came to be here

I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied

I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Oriah Mountain Dreamer.

Indian Elder MAY 1994.

Words to live by

My Father

“The image of my father floats like a spectre before me as I try to form my thoughts about manhood. I see him as he is now – a shell of a man, lost in private memories, spending his days idly flicking a television from channel to channel in hopes of finding something to occupy his time. I see him as he is, but I remember him as he was….”

My Father

“With each passing day I realize more how much he lives within me, and how great a shadow he casts over my life. It is the same for all men. None of us can escape this shadow of the father, even if that shadow fills us with fear, even if it has no name or face. To be worthy of that man, to prove something to that man, to exocise the memory of that man from every corner of our life – however it affects us, the shadow of that man cannot be denied.”

My Father

“To become a father is to understand that power of that shadow from the other side. You realize that the touches you make upon your son will shape him, for better or worse, for his entire life.”

Being a Man and Male

… Being a man is something different. It is taking these male traits and forming them into a life that meets the demands of the world around you while serving the needs of others. It is action in service of a dream…

Being a Man and Male

“You were born into a different world that will present you with different gifts and challenges. A new vision of manhood will be called for that does not tie so closely into the more aggressive and competitive residues of our male character. You will need to search out new ways of expressing strength, showing mastery, and exhibiting courage – ways that do not depend upon confronting the world before you as an adversary.”

Being a Man and Male

“… when maleness operates untempered with moral value, it visits damage upon the earth.”

Being a Man and Male

“Being male is not enough; being a man is a right to be earned and an honor to be cherished.”

Being a Man and Male

“… the formation of your manhood must be a conscious act governed by the highest vision of the man you want to be.”

Being a Man and Male

“Most of all, do not fall prey to the false belief that mastery and domination are synonymous with manliness.”

Being a Man and Male

“Measure your greatness by the length of your reach, but also by the gentleness of your touch.”

Strength

“For ages we have lived with this biological imperative by which manhood has been defined as strength to master others, strength to master our emotions, strength to master the world around us.”

“The world doesn’t need this version of strength anymore. We are not locked in some physics of survival where we must turn force against counterforce in an elemental battle to see who will prevail. We need greatness of spirit more than we need greatness of physical strength.”

Strength

“But there is much more to strength than overcoming fear.”

“Martin Luther may have put it most succinctly when he stood up for his vision of God. ‘Here I stand,’ he said, ‘I cannot do otherwise.’

Strength

“Try to find this strength in yourself. It lies far below anger and righteousness and any impulse toward physical domination. It lies in a place where your heart is at peace.”

Strength

“Remember the words of Tao te Ching. ‘The only true strength is a strength that people do not fear.’ Strength based in force is strength people fear. Strength based in love is a strength people crave.”

Work

“Your work makes you who you are, because it is where you put your time.”

“We are what we do, and the more we do it, the more we become it.”

Work

“So a true vocation calls to you to perform it and it allows your life to speak.”

Work

“But now amount of security is worth the suffering of a life lived chained to a routine that has killed all your dreams.”

Money

“Yet money is not of central importance. It has nothing whatsoever to do with the lasting values that make life worth living.”

Money

“Knowing how to be poor means developing an unerring instinct for the difference between what is essential and what is only desirable. It means knowing how to take control of your life – how to repair and maintain the things around you, how to purchase wisely and well, how not to purchase at all when you do not have the means to do so, how to take joy in the simple pleasures in life.”

money means the loss of who they are. If you learn to accept poverty when it comes, it will make you clearer and stronger and more self-reliant. It will make you more appreciative of the simple gifts of life and will keep this appreciation close to the center of your heart. But you must learn to live by its rules. You must learn to embrace the life of limitations that it forces upon you.”

Tragedy And Suffering

You must embrace them and realize that they too, are a gift of life because they take you out of yourself and, for a moment, make you one with all others who have known loss or pain or suffering. The great lesson of suffering comes from the fact that it is so much greater than the confines in which we live our daily lives.”

“When we finally reclaim ourselves, as we ultimately do, we are changed. We have been dropped into chaos and nothing is as it was.”

Tragedy And Suffering

“Those who insulate themselves from further pain miss a great opportunity. They miss the chance to use their pain to grow outside themselves and recognize something greater and shared in our human experience.”

“Whatever it is, it is your measure, and you need to look upon it as a gift to help you reclaim what is important in your life.”

Tragedy And Suffering

“The question you must ask yourself is not if you will heal, but how you will heal. Grief and pain have their own duration, but when they begin to pass, you must take care to guide the shape of the new being you are to become.”

Loneliness And Solitude

Time spent alone returns to you a hundredfold, because it is the proving ground of the spirit.”

“Most people fear being alone because they understand only loneliness. They feel that unless the world presents them with a mirror in the form of another person responding to them, they are close to annihilation.”

“Solitude is a place you reach, not a decision you make.”

Fatherhood

“ So move cautiously toward fatherhood. It is much easier to become a father than to be one. When you become a father your whole life suddenly becomes measured against your vision of what good fatherhood should be.”

Fatherhood

“So look upon fatherhood as a gift. It is one of life’s common miracles, available to everyone and given freely to us all. A child, whether healthy or ill, misshapen or beautiful, opens the world into a new sunlight. It is an experience greater than a dream.”

The Burden Of Age

“They [elderly people] are a weight and an encumbrance and a mirror of our own mortality. It takes a person of great heart to see past this fact and to see the wisdom the elders have to offer, and to serve them out of gratitude for the life they have passed on to us.”

“But no matter how they make you feel, you should always watch them carefully. They were you and you will be them. You carry the seeds of your old age in you at this very moment, and they hear the echoes of their childhood each time they see you.”

…”they very often fear their own loss of importance. They face the uncertainty of death and are often embittered that the world they worked so hard to create is being discarded by the generations now in power. Their bodies are giving out on them. They increasingly find themselves surrounded only by people their own age, because they know that the young would rather be apart from them. They often live in memories.”

The Burden of Age

“You must remember this: even in their infirmity, elders seek and value their dignity. What they want, above all else, is to feel that their lives are valued, and that their time on earth has not been wasted.”

Masculinity

Norman Mailer, in Christians and Cannibals, made a similar observation: "Masculinity is not something given to you, something you're born with, but something you gain. And you gain it by winning small battles with honor."

Giving

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give. (Winston Churchill)

Optimism – Pessimism (Winston Churchill)

The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

For myself I am an optimist - it does not seem to be much use being anything else.

Mistakes (Winston Churchill)

If a thing is worth doing, it's worth doing badly.

You will make all kinds of mistakes; but as long as you are generous and true and also fierce you cannot hurt the world or even seriously distress her. She was meant to be wooed and won by youth

Personally I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.

Giving up…. (Winston Churchill)

Here is the answer which I will give to President Roosevelt... We shall not fail or falter; we shall not weaken or tire. Neither the sudden shock of battle nor the long-drawn trials of vigilance and exertion will wear us down. Give us the tools and we will finish the job.

Never give in--never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.

Success (Winston Churchill)

Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.

Winston Churchill (Misc)

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

I have always felt that a politician is to be judged by the animosities he excites among his opponents

The price of greatness is responsibility.

Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.

Courage (Winston Churchill)

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak.

Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile - hoping it will eat him last.

Winston Churchill

One ought never to turn one's back on a threatened danger and try to run away from it. If you do that, you will double the danger. But if you meet it promptly and without flinching, you will reduce the danger by half.

This truth is incontrovertible. Panic may resent it; ignorance may deride it; malice may distort it; but there it is.

Kites rise highest against the wind -- not with it.

Seneca

There is nothing in the world so much admired

as a man who knows how to bear unhappiness with courage.

Robert Frost

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Charles Darwin

It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent; it is the one that is most adaptable to change.

Harry Truman

It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.

If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.

Doing what is right . . .

Cowardice asks the question - is it safe?

Expediency asks the question - is it politic?

Vanity asks the question - is it popular?

But conscience asks the question - is it right?

And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular; but one must take it because it is right.

Martin Luther King

Courage

Courage is the power of the mind to overcome fear.

Martin Luther King

Ultimate measure of a man

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

Martin Luther King

Principles

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. That is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant. Martin Luther King

The measure of a man

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

If a man hasn't discovered something that he would die for, he isn't fit to live.

Martin Luther King

Enemies

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

John F. Kennedy

Fear

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.

Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds.

First of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself - nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.

Franklin D. Roosevelt

Future

We cannot always build the future for our youth, but we can build our youth for the future.

The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.

Franklin D. Roosevelt

Albert Einstein . . .

Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.

The tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives.

Love is a better teacher than duty.

It is only to the individual that a soul is given.