Are We Teaching Our Kids To Be Fearful of Men?

Are We Teaching Our Kids To Be Fearful of Men?

By Jeff Zaslow

When children get lost in a mall, they're supposed to find a "low-risk adult" to help them. Guidelines issued by police departments and child-safety groups often encourage them to look for "a pregnant woman," "a mother pushing a stroller" or "a grandmother."

The implied message: Men, even dads pushing strollers, are "high-risk."

Are we teaching children that men are out to hurt them? The answer, on many fronts, is yes. Child advocate John Walsh advises parents to never hire a male babysitter. Airlines are placing unaccompanied minors with female passengers rather than male passengers. Soccer leagues are telling male coaches not to touch players.

Child-welfare groups say these are necessary precautions, given that most predators are male. But fathers' rights activists and educators now argue that an inflated predator panic is damaging men's relationships with kids. Some men are opting not to get involved with children at all, which partly explains why many youth groups can't find male leaders, and why just 9% of elementary-school teachers are male, down from 18% in 1981.

People assume that all men "have the potential for violence and sexual aggressiveness," says Peter Stearns, a George Mason University professor who studies fear and anxiety. Kids end up viewing every male stranger "as a potential evildoer," he says, and as a byproduct, "there's an overconfidence in female virtues." . . .

TV shows, including the Dateline NBC series "To Catch a Predator," hype stories about male abusers. Now social-service agencies are also using controversial tactics to spread the word about abuse. This summer, Virginia's Department of Health mounted an ad campaign for its sex-abuse hotline. Billboards featured photos of a man holding a child's hand. The caption: "It doesn't feel right when I see them together."

More than 200 men emailed complaints about the campaign to the health department. "The implication is that if you see a man holding a girl's hand, he's probably a predator," says Marc Rudov, who runs the fathers' rights site TheNoNonsenseMan.com. "In other words, if you see a father out with his daughter, call the police." . . .

Mr. Walsh, host of Fox's "America's Most Wanted," began advocating for missing children in 1981, after his son was killed by a stranger. He knows some men are offended by his advice to never hire a male babysitter. But as he sees it, if a teenage boy wants to experiment with sex, you don't want him using your kids.

Um, hasn't Mr. Walsh seen the many stories (even just here in the Detroit area) of adult women preying on teen-age boys for sex? Come on. Wake up. Women are becoming just as predatory as we're taught to believe men are.

"It's not a witch hunt," he says. "It's all about minimizing risks. What dog is more likely to bite and hurt you? A Doberman, not a poodle. Who's more likely to molest a child? A male."

John Walsh says men are now Dobermans?! (Except him, of course.) Sounds like he's been watching too much Oprah and "The View."

Airlines use similar reasoning when they seat unaccompanied minors only with women. They are trying to decrease the odds of a problem. Certainly, many men would be safe seatmates for kids, but sometimes, especially on overnight flights in darkened cabins, "you have to make generalizations for the safety of a child," says Diana Fairechild, an expert witness in aviation disputes. Airlines have had decades of experience monitoring the gender of abusive seatmates, she adds, quoting a line repeated in airline circles: "No regulation in aviation takes effect without somebody's blood on it."

I think I smell a perfectly justified class-action gender-discrimination lawsuit against airlines.

Most men understand the need to be cautious, so they're willing to take a step back from children, or to change seats on a plane. One abused child is one too many. Still, it's important to maintain perspective. "The number of men who will hurt a child is tiny compared to the population," says Benjamin Radford, who researches statistics on predators and is managing editor of the science magazine Skeptical Inquirer. "Virtually all of the time, if a child is lost or in trouble, he will be safe going to the nearest male stranger."

Right on, Jeff Zaslow. If only America's conventional wisdom was actually infused with this kind of common sense.

Posted by Debbie at August 23, 2007 10:19 AM

Comments

'Women are becoming just as predatory as we're taught to believe men are.'

What a ridiculous (I'm being polite here) comment. Despite the reports in the media of women seducing teenage boys, they hardly equal the amount of sex crimes (on adults and children) committed by men. This is just retarded conservative propaganda run amok.

"[Adam Walsh] knows some men are offended by his advice to never hire a male babysitter."

Howard Stern gives the same advice. It's just common sense.

You conservatives really kill me some times. Many of you like to say Christians aren't as bad as Muslims or that Whites don't commit as much crime as Blacks, but when it comes to sex or violent crimes, conservatives are the first to say Women are as bad as Men. Conservatives are real idiots at times.

Posted by: jaillibby2 at August 23, 2007 11:39 AM

jaillibby2

You are wrong about women not being involved in sex crimes. It is just the statistics have not been reported in the past.

The equality movement is finally biting them in the ass and the statistics prove it now that LE is recording female sex crimes.

The vast majority of sexual assaults by school teachers are committed by females.
http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=53824

Posted by: ScottyDog at August 23, 2007 12:47 PM

Small list of women offenders:

High school coach resigns after sexual assault arrest
http://www.khou.com/news/local/stories/khou070215_tnt_hsarrest.401b8e0.html
Kimberly Dawn Hollis has now resigned from Hightower High School in Fort Bend County after confessing to having sexual conduct with a 15-year-old-girl

Female Coach Allegedly Had Relationship with Player
http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/story?section=local&id=3526747
A female high school coach is facing serious charges. She's accused of having a relationship with a player on her team who was just 14-years-old! This case is unfolding in Nazareth, Northampton County.

Ex-coach accused of endangerment
http://www.thedailystar.com/news/stories/2007/07/14/pblaurenscoach5.html
LAURENS _ The former girls softball coach at Laurens Central School has been accused of having an inappropriate relationship with a child younger than 17.

Counselor Sentenced For Having Sex With Autistic Student
http://www.theindychannel.com/news/10716523/detail.html
Becci M. Hill, of Martinsville, was accused of having a sexual relationship with the 15-year-old, whom she had mentored at one point, according to authorities. She was a special-needs counselor with the Wayne Township school district in Indianapolis.

Counselor-In-Training Convicted Of Sexual Abuse
http://cbs2chicago.com/topstories/local_story_215170720.html
Maywood Court Associate Judge Gilbert J. Grossi convicted Kathy Miraglia, in her 30s, of two counts of criminal sexual abuse and eight counts of criminal sexual assault during a bench trial Thursday, according to a Cook County State�s Attorney�s office spokeswoman

Oregon woman sentenced for having sex with high school boy
http://www.oregonnews.com/article/20070111/NEWS/70111005/0/news
KLAMATH FALLS, Ore. (AP) � A 34-year-old woman will spend a month in jail after admitting she had sex with a teenager she counseled at Klamath Union High School.

Teacher Allegedly Had Oral Sex With Girl At School
http://www.wftv.com/news/12525646/detail.html?rss=orlc&psp=news
The former soccer and softball coach is accused of the unthinkable, having sex with a female student on campus during school hours

Teacher turns herself in on sex charges
http://www.wcnc.com/news/topstories/stories/wcnc-080807-krg-teacher_sex.1561fe31.html
HUNTERSVILLE, N.C. -- A former Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools teacher surrendered to police Wednesday after she was accused of having an inappropriate relationship with a female student.

Student Testifies About Sexual Relationship With Teacher
http://www.click2houston.com/news/10882250/detail.html
Shanikka Campbell, 26, pleaded guilty to three counts of sexual abuse of a child on Monday.

The former Aldine Independent School District English teacher admitted to having sex with a 16-year-old 11th-grade student she met at Carver High School last Spring

Jailed teacher in sex case fired, remains silent
23-year-old middle school instructor in S.C. accused of sex with five boys
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17388278/

Teacher, Alleged Sex Victim Did Witchcraft
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,140486,00.html
SOUTH HAVEN, Mich. � A teacher and a 14-year-old former female student whom she is accused of sexually assaulting participated in witchcraft together and even "wed" in a pagan ritual, police said.

Elizabeth Miklosovic (search), 36, a teacher at South Haven's Baseline Middle School, was arraigned Thursday on a charge of first-degree criminal sexual conduct

Woman charged with sexual assault
http://www.nwanews.com/nwat/News/51156/
A 19-year-old Fayetteville woman was charged Thursday by the Fourth Judicial District Prosecutor�s Office for having sexual contact with a 13-year-old girl.

Three Women Accused Of Sexual Abuse Of 16-Year-Old Boy
Teen Being Cared For At Group Home
http://www.nbc4.com/newsarchive/10891638/detail.html
Police said that through their investigation, they learned that Koreene Avery, 38, and Robin Lawrence, 24, both counselors at the M.S. Youth Services group home, also were having sex with the boy at the home.

Posted by: eloopd at August 23, 2007 01:29 PM

The cautionary approach suggested in the post parrallels the cautionary approach that is offered when discussing males of Arab/Muslim descent.

It is OK to be cautious of male Arab/Muslims as potential terrorists.

It is OK to be cautious of male adults as potential pedophiles.

The closest arguement for/against is that it depends on their actions. Recent news accounts offer a picture of two Arab/Muslim looking guys on a ferry 'acting suspicious.' Then what of the coach who pats a kid on the behind and leaves his hand there an inordinate amount of time. And, what is an inordinate amount of time? I don't know.

I really don't know. I am going to take each case one at a time and avoid jumping to conclusions before I have a greater knowledge of the situation. Then if the situation merits, I'll put my foot up the pedophile's and terrorist's behind.

OK, that's being a man, and you don't have to worry, because I am out there, (and there are alot of us) and I got your back if it is a pedophile or terrorist.

Posted by: zyzzyg at August 23, 2007 01:30 PM

@ Jaillibby

"Many of you like to say Christians aren't as bad as Muslims or that Whites don't commit as much crime as Blacks.."

First of all how many Christian acts of terror do you know about since 9/11? Guess how many Terror acts in the name of Islam have been committed in that same amount of time? How about more than 9,000.

http://www.thereligionofpeace.com/

Next you say:

"Whites don't commit as much crime as Blacks.."

The US Department of Justice would like to argue that point with you.

Blacks are 7 times more likely to murder someone than whites and 9 times more likely to committ any violent crime.

http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/welcome.html

http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/homicide/race.htm

Posted by: sickboy at August 23, 2007 01:55 PM

As a Black male in America, I graduated from Harvard with a degree in physics and computer science. As a senior, we were required to complete a research project. I completed mine on black americans and the relationship to incarceration, the one factor that stood above all, was the fact the black males that were in jail for greater than 1 year had a greater than 90% chance of have a negative or no role model. Almost all had a female dominated household that taught that being a male was negative.

Posted by: Dallas1972 at August 23, 2007 08:33 PM

Thanks for supprting us men, Debbie. Have you heard of the site www.mediaradar.org. Respecting accuracy in Domestic Abuse Reporting. It discussing the discrimination towards men and basically they are taught to view every family problem as the man 100% bad abuser and women 100% good victim and most family problems that is not the situation. A man is physically bigger that is true but this should make him automatically guilty. Can a younger brother or sister can do what they want to a bigger older brother or sister? Of course not. They also use their services to brainwash women that everything is a guys faut and if a women doesn't share their views they can harm her too. Feminist don't believe in different ideas especially from other women.

I also have to say in the Orthodox Jewish world at least in NY metro area the things that are said about Jewish men are just horrible and mostly untrue. I have been a victim (in many different area's) of the hatred that goes on in many Orthodox circles towards men. The Rabbi's are very naive at best because they work in a field that has no women so they many times have an exaggerated sense that women are vunerable and believe anything they say about men. My only family situation thank g-d has become somewhat better but you know my parents invite my younger sister every Jewish holiday and don't rotate since my parents are unable to deal with the two of us together. Doesn't anybody say anything? Not that I know. And outside where I grew up I have had people tell me they would throw me up of the community if I mention my family situation even if it is just to get advice and to try to improve which without anyone's help it has become somewhat better. I spend most Jewish holidays alone because I don't feel comfortable with the male hatred that some Rabbi's preach which of course they are the exception. This is in Orthodox Judaism. An Aish Rabbi once wrote me that divorce is all the man's fault because women have more intuition when I and many others complained about an article that specifically picked on men. Claims this is torah. I am only mentioning two area's but I have the same vicious behavior towards me in other areas too when I have dealt with Orthodox Jews in any area they for the slightest thing they think you are a monster. I know it isn't everyone but too many seem to fit this mode and it has scared me away from being involved in Orthodox Jewish life.
Adam